But what about the Shells??

Shell-brassieres stay on with the aid of a sea-snail derived adhesive – same principle behind knee-sock glue.

That was the originary question of this project. Now I've answered it; very simple.

Many other questions surrounding shell-brassieres, though:

1. What is the point?

It is clear shell-brassieres have no straps, so they're not being used to provide support. The mermaid's aqueous environment allows her body to be sufficiently buoyant as to preclude such a need.

I guess we discussed this before, and the conclusion was that despotic sea kings are manic about public decency. Or indecency, as it were.

2. uh...

There aren't really many other questions, are there? Just #1. oh, yes? You there, in the back, what's your question?

3. Where do they get the shells?

There is a complicated shell economy. Pearls are valuable, but it's clear that mother-of-pearl is the basic mermaid currency. Many shells are used as straight cash, like gold ingots. These are shells that, for whatever reason, make suboptimal brassieres – giant clams, tiny clams, razor clams, all too excessively some-thing. It's straight-up tawdry to wear oyster shells; that's like walking around in a dress made of ... well, not dollar bills, so much as printing presses, or strong-boxes. In any case, oysters are out. Conchs have obvious deficiencies as pseudo-support-wear; and are, besides, already in high demand among undersea musicians.

While mermaids can sift out their own shells, there are many who make a living off the selection and sale of the choicest pieces. The profession requires great effort, as it concerns not so much the defining of taste and fashion in undersea society as the ability to match perfectly shell to shlady. Excuse me, lady. The evolution of the bivalve was a godsend to the industry, as shell-bra peddlers were able to both eat a tasty snack and produce two perfectly matched specimens to complement the right-left symmetry of their clientele. I know, because that's the order it happened in. I read about it on Wikipedia.

Mermaids with radial symmetry would be horrifying, don't you think?